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Pretty irritated

Nov. 5th, 2010 | 09:53 pm
location: Jacksonville
mood: aggravated aggravated

I know it's been ages since I updated my LJ honestly it's not really something I keep up with anymore, I still read others, and communities but mine has just sort of fallen into neglect.

On the plus side Tim finally proposed, so I'm happily engaged now, on down side, I cannot stand where we live and our living situation. Due to a city-wide ban on not allowing German Shepherd's in rental properties in Jacksonville, we've been living with my parents. For over a year now. Frankly I just can't deal with this anymore, they act worse than teenagers. They are the most passive aggressive people I have ever dealt with, and I can't figure out where this is coming from, they've never been like this before.

The main issues are my dog, their dishes, and their disregard for either Tim or myself.

The main problem with my dog vs my parents, is despite the fact Jaeger is in NO way aggressive, my Mother treats him like he is, she cannot separate that my late abused Shepherd Mix Duke is NOT Jaeger. However, she treats Jaeger like he is Duke, going so far as when she's drunk (which I should point out is a NIGHTLY event) she'll refer to Jaeger as Duke, which as I'm sure most of you can relate is not only incredibly painful emotionally, but just down right unnecessary. So anytime he tries to play with Fuzzy, their Golden Retriever whom Jaeger grew up with, she shrieks at the top of her lungs and pulls Fuzzy away from him. She also shrieks at him anytime he comes near her, so she gets so confused as to why Jaeger has started growling at her anytime she comes near the room Tim, myself and the dog share. It's utterly ridiculous.

On the other side of the problem with my parents and my dog, is my father LOVES Jaeger, and you would think that wouldn't be a problem, except he NEVER disciplines Jaeger, so as a result, Jaeger now begs for food at the table, something he NEVER did before. He also has a blatant disregard for Jaeger's food allergies, and I've caught him on more than one occasion giving Jaeger beef, to which he is highly allergic. So I reprimanded my Father for it, his response, "But he's such a good dog, surely giving him beef once and a while is ok?" NO it's NOT! He gets an awful rash on his stomach that develops into a staff infection and causes massive hair loss. He also barks at the drop of a hat now, granted he's always been a very vocal dog, but Tim and I managed to get him to the point where he recognized the sound of our car and wouldn't bark when either of us got home, this is no longer the case. My parents were robbed about two years ago, they took all of my Mother's jewelry (which she still blames on me and Jaeger for not living here at the time) so this is to blame for why my Father has encouraged him to bark so extensively. It's just very frustrating to see everything I've worked so hard to teach my dog not to do go out the window.

They both also have no regard for his schedule, yes it's a little silly to have a dog on a set schedule but Tim and I are night people and always have been, so he was used to getting fed at 2 pm and 2 am, that pretty much immediately changed when we moved down here. They insisted it was no trouble for them to feed Jaeger when they fed Fuzzy, and that they'd be happy to take him out. Which gets me started on a whole new issue with my Mother, she used to take Jaeger out but he's too "strong" for him, and yes, he does pull, the whole 'heal' thing never caught on with him, but instead of trying to restrain the dog, she just let him go. It got to a point where he would dart across streets to see other dogs, which is another thing he has never done before coming here. I want to point out again he is NOT aggressive, but he does have a loud bark, and my folks live in a seniors community where 90% of the people have a yorkie or a chihuahua so having a German Shepherd coming running out of nowhere to see their dog is basically a catastrophe. This situation has finally been solved by me forbidding her to take him out, and that if she did I would never talk to her again as long as she lived. Thankfully she got the picture, but she still doesn't realize why it's a bad thing that she let the dog go in the first place. I find it endlessly frustrating that they can't just leave him alone and let him follow his original schedule of Tim and I feeding him at our convenience and taking him out when he NEEDS to go, not every 2 God damn hours.

That's enough ranting about the dog, now on to the dish situation, they go through dishes like water. Easily using 5-8 plates a meal for TWO people, 3-4 pots and pans, and pretty much the ENTIRE utensil drawer and they can hardly ever be fucked to do their own god damn dishes! It'd be one thing if Mom cooked us all dinner and Tim and I would do the dishes that would be fine, but I would rather starve than eat the swill that woman tries to pass as food. Not to mention they eat while Tim and I are at work. So you can see how I'd be perpetually pissed coming home to a mountain of dirty dishes, trying to make dinner, then having to do all their fucking dishes on top of my own. 99% of the time Tim does the dishes, which I appreciate endlessly because I hate doing them, but for fucks sake can't they take care of themselves? My mother also refuses to unload the dishwasher and will go as so far as adding more dishes to it, so she can just rerun it. The real raw end of this deal is once and a while Tim and I will be fed up with all this shit, and we have to be up early for work like the one day I worked 6am-3pm and he was 10am-10pm, and we still got chewed out for not doing the minuscule amount of dishes left in the sink. It's just down right bullshit. I am not their fucking maid and neither is Tim.

This dish dilemma leads into the real problem with them, 90% of the time I work 2pm-11pm and Tim works his first job (an online social networking job) from anywhere from 10am or 1pm to when he leaves for his second job a restaurant job around 5pm to 11pm, so obviously we don't sleep until around 3 am and usually wake up around 10 am or 12pm if I'm feeling greedy. So, we make dinner around 11:30pm or 12am and we go out of our way to be as quiet as possible to not disturb them, because my Dad wakes up at 6am everyday, and Mom around 9am, they go to bed no later than 10pm, so we try and be courteous. This courteous is NOT returned. The are LOUD almost every fucking day, and when I've confronted them about it they tell me I sleep too late... I WORK FUCKING NIGHTS! Do they expect me to wake up at 6am like them and STILL work nights?! I would be a zombie! It's just so unbelievably frustrating, I feel like I rarely get a decent night's sleep, it's gotten to the point where I can't sleep in the morning without taking Tylenol PM the night before. I just can't believe anyone can be so inconsiderate of other people. Dad 90% of the time is quiet, Mom on the other hand I think she likes to be as loud as possible, she's started running laundry everyday at 9am and my room shares a wall with the laundry room and the fucking garage.

I'm just really miserable here and don't really have any other options, except and keep your fingers crossed, one of my co-workers moonlights as a real estate agent, and she's found us apparently two apartments that will allow a German Shepherd, one we think we can afford, one that's a little too outside of our price range. I really hate having to stay in Jacksonville, but we don't have enough money to just pick up and move somewhere else without having jobs, and here we at least have that, grated being a Customer Service Staff (yea it's a separate thing from cashier, I pretty much answer the telephone, sell lotto tickets, Western Unions and Money Orders and page baggers when they go missing, livin' the dream) at a grocery store is really glamorous but $9.00 an hour is better than $0.

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Writer's Block: Bone appetit!

May. 31st, 2010 | 01:46 am

If your pet were arranging a dinner party, who do you think they would invite and what would they serve?

Well I have a 4 year old male German Shepherd, and he's allergic to wheat and beef, so I know he wouldn't serve that if he had a dinner party. So he would probably go with venison or duck since that's what he usually eats. He'd probably invite my parents Golden Retriever since they were more or less raised together and their pillows, Helgulala and Bernice, only proper to have a double date. There would be green beans and sweet potatoes as side dishes since that's what Fuzzy (the Golden Retriever) loves most. All in all it would be a quite but enjoyable evening.

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Mar. 5th, 2010 | 01:55 am

So I hate that my days off are full of nothing but errands, housework and general suck. Whereas when Tim gets a day off we get to do fun things? WTF >.< I HATE LAUNDRY AND DISHES RAWR! I have to do laundry though 'cause the way Tim folds makes me feel ill. In other news my last several months have been utterly consumed by work and Dragon Age: Origins, I am counting down the days until the first expansion. Also I need to make LJ icons of my Dragon Age PCs. Ahhh fantasy games, you are the only way I can escape my hell. Can Alistair be real now, please?

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Stolen from Manda

Sep. 17th, 2009 | 06:37 pm

1. Use the letters of your first name.
2. Find titles to your favorite songs in your ipod/itunes/whatever that correspond to each letter and include them with that letter. No repeats. Screw that rule I only have so many songs =P

K Kodou - Dir en Grey
R Raver's Fantasy - Tune Up!
I Ito - Gazette
S Silent Jealousy - X-Japan

I'm really bored so I did Tomoka as well

T Two Hurt - Deluhi
O Obscure - Dir en Grey
M Mitternacht - E Nomine
O Orion Once Again - Deluhi
K Kernkraft 400 - Zombie Nation
A Anomie - Matenrou Opera

I'd just like to add Deluhi is pretty amazing, at least the two songs I have listen there, if anyone wants to hear them, and I encourage you to, I'll be happy to up 'em or send 'em to ya. :3

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kinda update?

Jul. 29th, 2009 | 12:46 am

Down in Florida, have been to most of my appointments, not great news, but not awful I guess. Still don't know if I need my valve repaired or replaced, I'm hoping for repaired. Either way there is a 5% chance I will die. If I need it replaced it's a choice between a mechanical valve (that will last forever, but I need to take a blood thinner of the rest of my life) or a pig valve (that doesn't need a blood thinner, but will wear out and need to be replaced between 10-20 years) to me, there is no decision, mechanical it is. Downside again, I might need to have a pacemaker... again, I feel like I'm back at square fucking one again. There's no yes or no now whether I need it repaired or replaced, or that I would need the pacemaker, either way I'm not really happy, and scared kinda shitless. :( Bleh, I'm going back to drinking before I make myself too depressed.

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Jun. 27th, 2009 | 09:43 pm

period + pre-exsisting depression = dreams of suicide, though I wouldn't lol on the plus side the dog coat is preliminarily finished and it fits :3 I'm rather happy about that, now have to do edging and finish off the hood and sew on the ears.... yeah sew on the ears, it's supposed to look like a bear ROFL

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Generic Crap

Jun. 22nd, 2009 | 03:33 pm

I know I don't update LJ a whole lot anymore, and I suppose I owe those who watch me an explanation, not only have I sold my soul to Twitter LOL damn convenient app, but quite frankly I've just been rather depressed too often to really post anything. Most of my depression can be attributed to the fact I need a heart valve repaired/replaced within the next few months, they don't know the extent of the damage yet, but they know one of the two needs to happen because the valve won't close all the way. It's a result of the many catheters and biopsies I've had over the years to monitor my heart for rejection (for those who don't know, I had a heart transplant when I was 14, after many open heart surgeries in attempts to correct my heart). Thankfully, I haven't had any problems with rejection, I'm just a bit upset that what was supposed to be the way to monitor my heart ended up damaging it, seems like a waste. Either way while getting my valve replaced I will also be getting my chest ties removed (they go through your breast bone during the transplant, in addition to the hideous scar I still have on my chest, they reattach the breast bone with titanium ties, essentially garbage bag twisty ties x.x) as they have never been covered by my chest muscle and they should be. As embarrassing as it is, at 14 one is obviously going through puberty, and as a result of my boobs being too massive the weight of them managed to tear my chest muscle apart. WTG Tits right? So whereas a normal people wouldn't be bothered by the ties because they'd be under muscle, my are only under skin and are often excruciating if I shift/move too quickly. It feels like flesh tearing, and odds are good there IS flesh tearing. I'm very excited about getting the ties removed and having my chest muscle sewn back together because I imagine that will eliminate a lot of my pain. But I have been at my wits end about the valve, I mean yeah I've had plenty of heart surgeries, and it's not so much that I'm afraid of the procedure it's self, I guess I'm afraid of results of it. First and foremost, it will be my first overnight operation at an adult hospital, so I'm kind of scared that I won't be able to have my Mom or Dad sleeping in a chair in the corner if I wake up in the middle of the night and something is wrong. My next big concern is I'm very worried I'll have limited access to seeing Tim, as it is he's planning on coming down with me and staying with me the whole time, which means the world to me, but I'm technically not related to him, he's my b/f not my husband or anything, so I'm nervous the hospital won't let him be there for like family only time, or that he can only come during certain times. I'm also of course worried about whether the operation itself will be successful, or whether my luck has run out, as well as I'm VERY worried if this is just the first thing to go wrong in a potentially long future list of things that will have to be fixed, repaired, replaced etc. I have made the decision that I can not mentally go through another transplant, I couldn't handle the guilt of knowing two people have died to I can live, not to mention going through the bi-weekly/monthly/6 months biopsies and caths again, I'm not strong enough to handle that again. So I really worry and hope that the valve will be the only problem. I'm also worried about more vain reasons of course, they can't replace the valve and take out the ties with the same incision, so the main scar down the center of my chest I have been fighting to hide/cover for 11 years will have to be reopened (though the dr. assured me he would close it much smaller and more discreet, more like a plastic surgery scar than a, "well let's just make sure she's alive" one) which yeah it's mentally crushing, but I hope now that I have a good arsenal of scar reducing creams/patches I can heal it better faster. My other issue is that it'll mean a new scar for the valve, I believe it will be in my ribcage, but that's hardly any relief to me, it just means something else on my body to make me feel ugly and imperfect. I know that's selfish, and I should just be happy I'm alive and whatnot, but I'd just love to feel like I'm normal for once. Anyway, that's what's going on I guess, and now that I've informed you all, I'll probably return to the world of twitter, I'll post more when I have more set dates I guess, if anyone wants me to anyway, I don't wanna keep like forcing this down your throats, I just figured some might be curious about it. Alright then, gonna go watch some TV and wait for Tim to get home so I then start figuring out what to eat, I'm hungry :(

Oh totally unrelated, but those of my buddies who live in Japan (or have) do any of you know any good recipes for shoyu ramen? I'm totally in love with it, but haven't been able to get it to taste quite perfect yet. Thanks :3

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Quick Update

Jun. 2nd, 2009 | 04:16 pm

Sorry I keep neglecting LJ, but Twitter is so much easier. x.x So ok, 12 years too late, but finally played/watched Tim play Final Fantasy VII, I can understand why so many people have been obsessed with it for the last 12 years. XD Then we watched Advent Children afterward, I can't even begin to tell you how much more sense that makes after seeing the game. LOL The downside of finally catching up w/ gaming lol I've become a hopeless Rufus, Cloud and Kadaj fangirl, *sigh* it's my curse, I love pretty boys. :( Don't get me wrong, Sephiroth is hot and all, but I don't go for long haired guys, Kadaj is even pushing it a bit for my tastes. In more gaming news, I had ridiculously good timing this afternoon, and woke up like 5 mins before G4's coverage of E3's Sony presentation started. XD This makes for a very happy Kris, 2 1/2 hours of hot, hot gaming action, very nice way to start the day! Super excited about Tekken 6 (lol obviously) and God of War III (OMG it looks so good, but SO gruesome!) There were plenty of other titles that piqued my interest, such as The Last Guardian and Final Fantasy XIII, but I was really REALLY disappointed to see nothing about FFXIII Versus (*pauses to drool* mmm Noctis...) or any new Kingdom Hearts (mmm Roxas XD) info :( Also is it just me, or does Assasin's Creed II look really, REALLY lame?? I mean Leonardo DiVinci is like your effin' weapon upgrader and crap, ugh I guess I'm a little bias, I didn't like the first one, so why would I like the second I guess? In AC's defense I never finished the first one, also kinda disappointed that there was nothing about a new Prince of Persia, oh well what can ya do? I can't expect perfection. After Sony was done I changed the channel LOL I don't have a Xbox (and probably never will) and don't own a Wii (contemplated, but decided it was a little too expensive to use for like 2 games) so I didn't really care about the other releases, though maybe I should see if I've missed Nintendo or not, like to see if there's any word about 358/2 Day's release in the states. Wow, this got longer than I wanted, ok done nerding out now, if you wanna keep up w/ me more consistently, get a twitter =P again twitter.com/tomoka0013 is me, now officially done w/ this post.

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(no subject)

May. 31st, 2009 | 02:27 am

For anyone that doesn't know, I've got a twitter, and I've been using it a lot more than my LJ lately, little blurbs are much easier to sort out in life than annoying long boring rants XD So if you have a twitter and aren't already following me please add me :3 twitter.com/tomoka0013, and if you don't have a twitter, MAKE ONE! XD They're fun, Mandy you HAVE to make one or I'll cry T_T <3 bitches

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(no subject)

May. 15th, 2009 | 11:17 pm

Hey if you have twitter too hit me up, I update it more often x.x twitter/tomoka0013

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